Monday, April 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 00:31:20 GMT

k-scope was last night

IT was cool because Paige was there and she is the coolest ever and i love her to death(;
you should go comment her because she is so sexy

http://www.xanga.com/paige_cherlyn
http://www.myspace.com/pagero

gogogo!

dang thats pure hotness
hahahaha

-BLAKE!

edit

lol

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 22:10:15 GMT

lol

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 20:25:05 GMT

yup

Friday, April 07, 2006

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 02:28:06 GMT

why yes, i am superman, thank you for asking

lol

tracks over

so no more sports at shack

ummm

might be goin to a movie on saturday? i think

benchwarmers neone? lol

ummmmmmmmm

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 23:36:54 GMT

added a new song

In My Time Of Need

Opeth

and

A Fair Judgement

Opeth

ummm im bored

so i think ill order a pizza?

lol

uhmm i think i might edit this later

maaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyybe

lol bye

-blake

COMMENT

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 17:43:10 GMT

new layout

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 23:59:58 GMT

lol

go to http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

whats ur slogan

mine is

Turn Loose The Blake. thats right THE BLAKE lol

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 14:42:35 GMT

...bad day

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 01:59:52 GMT

.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.
• When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks the closet for Chuck Norris.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of people Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
If Chuck thinks they're funny, then you better also..... unless you want a roundhouse kick to the face, that is.

To Chuck Norris, the cup isn't half full or half empty, but all usually deadly.

Chuck Norris appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, “HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, “Don’t fuck with Chuck!” Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn’t, he replied, “Of course I can, I’m Chuck Norris,” and roundhouse kicked him in the face.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

On the 7th day, God rested…. Chuck Norris took over.

When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn’t work, he plays zombie.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A duck’s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.

Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

When Chuck Norris’ wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, “don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

Ironically, Chuck Norris’ hidden talent is invisibility.

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card.

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

Chuck Norris invented water.

Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!”

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.

Chuck Norris can believe its not butter.

Chuck Norris was widely believed to be the 1st black president. If you are thinking to yourself "but Chuck Norris isn't black..." then you are dead wrong. And stop being racist.

Due to Newtons 3rd law of motion, Chuck Norris can actually rounhouse kick you yesterday.

Chuck Norris didn't "lose" his virginity. He stalked it and destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Indian.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

Chuck Norris invented cigarettes so he can kill more people simultaneously

Chuck Norris is so hardcore, all of his hair is actually made of fire

Chuck Norris invented the Internet; not Al Gore. In fact, he got a roundhouse kick in the testicles for saying that he did.

Chuck Norris must've been a pretty strong baby to climb out of the abortion bin

There is a picture of Chuck Norris next to 'Justice' in the dictionary. If your dictionary doesn't have this, Chuck Norris will kill you.

Chuck Norris rubbed his beard so hard that he wore off his own fingerprints. His smooth palm faces add the perfect amount of aero-dynamics for karate chops reaching tops speeds of 136mph

Who are Chuck Norris' parents? Might, Justice, and cunning; yes, all three.

Chuck Norris once flew through space, on that trip he got so pissed off that roundhouse kicked 3 stars. Every time Chuck Norris does this we call it a Supernova

Chuck Norris finally thought he'd discovered a worthy competitor after watching an old Superman movie. Half an hour later, he went home disappointed, leaving Christopher Reeve paralyzed from the neck down.

There once was a man from Nantucket. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the shit out of him for living in a place with such a stupid name.

Every new U.S. currency has a watermark of Chuck Norris' face in the background. Knowing that Chuck is always watching, counterfeiting ceases to exist

Chuck Norris has a special ability to turn fruits into vegetables, all he has to do is send a fatal roundhouse kick to break the gay person's neck.

Chuck Norris owns 3 pit bulls and 2 dobermans, yet if you go near his property the only sign you see is "Beware of Chuck Norris".

One time, a long time ago, some kid named Steven made fun of Chuck Norris' jeans, so Chuck Norris made jeans out of him, and named them Levi.

The only weaknesses of Superman are kryptonite and Chuck Norris.

One drop of Chuck Norris' sweat can cure you of anything, even death.

Everytime you litter, Chuck Norris cries, then he'll roundhouse kick your grandma.

Chuck Norris proposed the idea of forming his own NFL expansion team where he would play every position on offense and defense. The NFL declined after seeing Chuck Norris's summer practices which consisted of nothing but 5 hours straight of round house kicks. They also were turned off by his idea for the team name: The Chuck Norris Chuck Norrises

There's no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Chuck Norris can lift a mountain over his head with one arm and make a perfect pitcher of Kool Aid with the other

Chuck Norris saw the movie, "The Polar Express," and immediately roundhouse kicked his 6 year old son in the face for convincing him to see it.

Chuck Norris did not read the terms of agreement, but clicked the "I Agree" button anyway.

In 1969 Chuck Norris roundhoused a man towards the sky. One day later Neil Armstrong took his first steps on the moon.

Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Jackie Chan in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Chan in the side of the face.

Chuck Norris won the Kentucky Derby on a 3-legdged goat.

Chuck Norris can throw a perfect spiral on a slant pattern with both hands tied behind his back.

Chuck Norris does'nt have to brush his teeth; they know better than to get dirty

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood , he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Thu, 09 Mar 2006 03:23:54 GMT

blake1211's Xanga